Wallowing......

Wow, Where have I been? I think I've been stuck.... wallowing. You know.... because this happened.



Yes that's right. Five positive pregnancy tests. But when I went to the Doctor a week later, I took another test that was negative. They took my blood and told me they would call back. A positive Hcg amount needs to be at a level 10, but when they called me, I was at a level 9. Sucks. So what had been..... was going away.

So therefore, I've been a bit ......eehhh.

So...... in the light of our sad news, my grief for Anna which is ever so near, resurfaces. I know many may not understand, but I felt the need to remember her, to memorialize her again, and so I had a little more added to her memorial tattoo on my back just behind my heart where she is safe. And this is the before and after.....(so sorry Mama!)

Before:


After:


So Much Better!

I wanted the "with Grace" because I want to be with Anna Grace, I want be surrounded by God's Grace, and I want to live my life with grace.

I also found this song, rather by accident. It was on the album of a song that was listed as a good bellydance song on iTunes. I downloaded the entire album and listened to it one rainy day. When I first heard the man speaking I didn't pay much attention to what he was saying, but then I caught some of the words. It's so beautiful. And it speaks to me.

Boomp3.com

And then, Marc and I went to the Outer Banks. We had a wonderful time! It's so beautiful there.






I have never seen such beach erosion! The wind was crazy!


We went with his family:

That's me at the end all bundled up because it was COLD!

And we made some new friends....


Crabs are so cute!!!!

Even the sky was smiling!

There is only one road that travels down the Outer Banks. And on this road just happened to be two signs, one on the way down and one on the way back up the coast.

How

amazing

that

they

would

read:





Yea......me too.