This blog is for my friends (one of whom is too far away...come back!) and family to help you all stay up-to-date on all of my flip-flop decisions and goings on. "Narcus" and I are on a journey full of very difficult decisions all with possibilities of wonderful outcomes to start a family. Again. ***sigh*** We still miss our Anna Grace terribly, and I imagine we always will, though it hasn't even been two years since we lost her. You all know the difficulties that we face with the chromosome abnormalitiy that we are dealing with. Our options for having a biological child are...... precarious. Scary. Unsure.
But we have other options.....
China adoption: This is the one that I have latched on to. This is the one that has given me hope and joy. We were SO close to putting in our application last month, only to find out that the wait has gone from two years..... to possibly five and six years. Yikes! So... I added our names to the China special needs list because it is possibly faster, only to fall in love with a little girl I call "Tinkerbell." And then the terrible heartbreak because we didn't get in line fast enough. She was referred to another family, and I'm so glad she will be with a family, but..... I don't know how to pick a child from a list, to search my soul and make the decision to bring this child home, only to not be able to do so in the end because we didn't act fast enough. I tried not to fall in love with her, but.... how could I not.
Taiwan Adoption: This is a new hope. I don't know a lot about it, but I have an info packet zooming it's way to us in the mail. (Hopefully it'll be at the post office today because I've already had three days of PO Box disappointment. I get that a lot. I keep waiting on something ...... though I don't know what. Weird.
Kazakhstan Adoption: This could also be a possibility. It just hasn't been at the top of the list because it makes me nervous not to have a formal "referral." Basically you go when you are accepted and "pick out" your child. Whoever they have available at the time. Notice I said "pick out." Hmmmm.... see above for difficulties that I have with that. ;)
Sperm donors: wellummmmmzzhow........ this just doesn't feel right on so many levels to me.
Pre-implantation Genetic testing: this was what we were told would be an option when we were going through hell. But alas, after all is said and done, now we have been told that they would have to develop a test (read...it doesn't yet exist) to look for the chromosome #12 issue that we have. And, even then there would be no guarantees. Lovely.
And....we could also try again naturally. Since we don't have fertility issues per se, we could try again, but ....... scared scared scared scared are we.
This photo says it best:
Confusions..... ah yes. I know him very well. ;)
Thanks to crazyauntpurl for this photo. See my links!
So .... my typical day entails flip flopin' around to each of these options. We have options. So that's good. Everyone has to start somewhere.
Love everyone! Miss you Jess! Come home! ;)
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